Have you ever had this one person in your life where, no matter what they say, you just want to slap them? Like whenever they speak. And it doesn’t matter how helpful they are, you just wanna smack em. Like, they could totally be like “Hey, this is how you balance a check book” or “you look nice today” or whatever but you still wanna hive five their cheeks three hundred times in a row really hard.
So I saw this cute girl going down the street with an amazing ass. I was all “DAMN GIRL, YOU GOT AN AMAZING ASS.” She was like “thanks, there’s a sale across the block, I got him there.” Now I have a pet donkey too, he was five bucks and his name is Leopold. And he hates thunderstorms.